Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: White Mountains

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

image for Dead Dutch skydiver was lost for days in Dutch mountains!
These are small compared to the ones in Holland!

A Dutch skydiver (RIP) who fell out of the sky after his parachute failed to open was lost for days it seems. Nobody bothered to report he was missing because in Holland it is normal to jump out of the sky and not tell anybody that he might not have landed safely; a typical, laid-back Dutch thing to do.

Also, another reason given why the authorities could not find him was that he had landed smack in the middle of the Dutch mountains (Dutch mountains!!). The Dutch mountains are in a country that is as flat as a pancake and are very difficult to access. Tracker St.Bernhard dogs with Dutch Advocaat hanging around their necks were sent out to search for him in altitudes of 6 feet or more!

Luckily some mountain rabbit hunters found the poor sky-divers body lying 2 feet above the surface and the search was called off.

Dutch mountain rescuer, Dik van Dyke-Pannekoek, gave the astonished world press all dressed in North Face jackets and snowboots the following statement:

"Ve are very sorry about zis, but sky-diving above ze Dutch mountains can be terribly dangerous especially when your parachute does not open and ve cannot find you!"

The writer of this spoof is just about to fly sky high off the "pot"!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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