Written by CaptainSausage
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Thursday, 1 November 2012

image for EU aid to Africa to be cut
They don't know it's Christmas time. Because they're Muslims.

Owing to budget cuts, EU foreign aid to Africa is to be massively cut. Instead of pouring vast amounts of money directly into the pockets of corrupt dictatorships across the continent, the EU will focus on the much cheaper option of providing food aid directly to the people. It is hoped this will save millions of Euros and will be a more effective way to deliver aid to those who really need it.

A giant catapult has been constructed on the south coast of Spain, which will fire one tonne tins of spam across the Mediterranean into Morocco. When asked about the safety of the spam catapult, EU aid spokesman Bouquetta Slopp said, "If a stray tin accidentally crushes a few of them, then that's less mouths to feed." The tins have been fitted with giant ring-pulls so they can be easily opened. Each one contains enough spam to feed a family of four for a hundred years, if they ate nothing but spam.

There are other cheap food delivery projects underway as well. Germany are building a sauerkraut pipeline to Libya. This will pump the fermented cabbage in its natural sludge form direct from a factory in Bavaria under the Alps, under the Mediterranean and into a huge pit near Benghazi. "Libyans will never want for sauerkraut again," said Chancellor Angela Merkel.

That is not all. France are organising air-drops of soufflé into sub-Saharan Africa. Also, Britain has donated a missile full of turkey twizzlers. This is to be aimed at an uninhabited area to minimise casualties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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