Written by CaptainSausage
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Saturday, 20 October 2012

image for Armstrong admits doping
Space: far out, man

Astronaut Neil Armstrong, deceased, has sensationally revealed that when he made his unique journey to the Moon he was using a now-banned chemical substance to enhance his performance.

Critics have called for Armstrong to be deleted from the history books, saying that Buzz Aldrin should now be declared as the first man on the Moon.

Armstrong was taking the illegal drug amphetazaphidol for years during the 60s. It is said that the drug made him "very very high" and he was constantly spaced out.

When he made his historic walk on the Moon, Armstrong could clearly be heard slurring the indecipherable drugged-up words, "That's one step, man. One giant leap, man. Kinda!"

Nowadays NASA regularly test their astronauts for banned substances. A spokesman said that they didn't want their performances to be tainted by accusations of cheating. The Russian space agency has also denied using drugs, although it is widely acknowledged that Yuri Gagarin was "completely monged" when he took his world-first trip into orbit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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