Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Solar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake
Lying in ruins today

Bologna - The first of the eclipsed Gemini new moon tremors has flattened much of a Northern Italian town 35km north of Bologna.

The 6-magnitude quake struck this morning in the Emilia Romagna district notorious for attracting spent lunar forces.

Seismologists plotting the tremor's progress said they expect plenty more tremors as Sunday's 23.46GMT eclipse approaches, with the worst tectonic rattlers centred on crumbling Eurozone states.

"It could be Apocalypse time at the Greek Acropolis," the US Geology Survey's Professor Einstein Flintstone tweeted at lunchtime as a tsunami warning was posted for the neighboring Balearics.

Other seismically sensitive nerve centres include southern coastal Spanish resorts and Portugal's Algarve where a 9th century curse on the beleagured Euro continues to hex Eurotrash summer playgrounds.

The Pope's summer residence at Castelgandolfo remains on red alert until Halloween.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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