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Topics: Titanic, Iceberg

Sunday, 8 April 2012

It was meant to commemorate the voyage of the famous ship that went down in the North Atlantic one hundred years ago. It did, and in doing so, it met the same fate.

Every detail was recreated exactly, from the route taken, to the numbers of passengers on board, to the limited number of life boats.

"Come to think of it, limiting the number of life boats wasn't such a hot idea," Captain Jordan Stewart admitted as the Steering Room filled with ocean water. "This is one of those cases when maintaining historical accuracy really bit us in the ass." He added, "Another bad idea was hitting the ice berg. Oh well, live and learn."

As the ship began to break apart, some of the passengers remained excited about being a part of history. "This is so cool," said Ellen Beardsley of Toledo Ohio. "It's just like that movie, only I never got to meet Leonardo DiCaprio and I'm totally about to die."

Another passenger, Justin Briglio, was in a more reflective mood. "If I had it to do over again, I'd probably take the ten thousand bucks I paid for my ticket and, you know, do something else with it." He was then crushed by a falling smokestack.

Director James Cameron could not be reached for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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