AP - Rumors recently surfaced that the new North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong Un, has secretly removed his father's body and has been playing with him nightly and signing lullabies. Jong Un's palace forces have kept the secret since Kim Jon Il's death; however, more and more people have become aware of the new dictator's fetish.
Palace head guard, Soon II Di, leaked information yesterday to AP along with some shocking amateur video of Kim Jong Un . Video that is far too graphic to be released to the public but clearly shows a side of Kim Jong Un that is childlike and playful.
"At first he was just positioning his father in poses and taking pictures, but now he is dressing up like Rick James and dancing disco nightly" said Soon II Di.
As it turns out, Kim Jong Un is quite the dancer and aficionado of the disco era. He can really boogie down and strut his stuff even with his father's 6" platform heels.
North Korean news has recently covered the story and had given a rather muted version of what is actually taking place: however, Dr Fuk Mei, North Korean cultural analyst says that his behavior is becoming more and more aberrant.
"Apparently his fetish is now involving food which he calls the Trifecta". The Trifecta integrates Kim Jong Un's love of his Father, Disco and Food.
This behavior has become so strange that Un is using his father's underwear for storing and fermenting kimchi. This gives a earthier flavor to the dish.
"We don't know what to do at this point but let the new dictator's fetish run its course" continues Dr Fuk Mei. "Eventually we believe EA Sports will release a new video game that will take his mind away from this obsession and provide him a new outlet for his eccentric behavior".
When asked what kind of video games the new dictator liked, Dr Fuk Mei replied "Missile Defense" games have always been his favorite.
Great! Well Fuk Mei II .