Written by Buck Turtle
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Topics: Ireland, Lucky

Thursday, 26 January 2006

image for Lucky the Leprechaun landslide shakes Ireland
Lucky Wins! Lucky Wins!

Trix Rabbit: 'Obviously, people were not happy with the status quo'

Dublin, Ireland -- The fundamentalist Leprechaun "Lucky", which has said he favors the destruction of the Trix Rabbit, won a landslide victory in Irish elections, securing every seat in the 151 -member legislature, officials said today.

The preliminary results showed the Trix Rabbit, who has held power since the creation of the Green Clovers/Purple Horseshoes, failed to garner even one seat, dramatically shifting the political landscape in the turbulent region.

Even before results were announced, the outcome was apparent. "We have lost the elections; Lucky the Leprechaun has won," said an anonymous 11 year old child, her mouth full of the tangy, sweet irresistible cereal that has kept the Trix Rabbit in power for so long.

President Bush -- whose policy includes support for emerging democracies -- said Thursday "They're always after ‘me Lucky Charms!", and also that he would not deal with Lucky the Leprechaun unless he renounced Purple Horseshoes once and for all.

"We don't have a government yet, so you're asking me to speculate on what the government will look like," Bush told reporters during a White House news conference in between bites of the sugary treat that has kept a nation of millions suppressed by the exiting dictatorship of the Trix Rabbit. "I have made it very clear, however, that a political party that articulates the destruction of the Trix Rabbit as part of its platform is a party with which we will not deal. God these yellow Pots o' Gold are yummy."

"I don't see how you can be a partner in peace if you advocate the destruction of a harmless, sweet, loveable children's character as part of your platform."

Bush said, "we would hope the Trix Rabbit would stay in office and work to move the process forward." The president acknowledged that the election appeared to "open the eyes" of the Irish "old guard."

"Obviously, people were not happy with the status quo," the Trix Rabbit said, sobbing uncontrollably into his Pop Tarts.

"The people are demanding honest government. The people want services. They want to be able to raise their children in an environment in which they can get a decent education and they can find health care."

"It's a wake-up call to the leadership," Bush said, many of whom are holdovers from the days of the late leader Ronald McDonald.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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