Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for China hails Putin 'pisstaker of the year'
Putin seen here with his brother 'George'

Beijing - The universally despised Chinese military dictatorship has awarded the Global Piss Process' ultimate gong to Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin.

The pint-sized evolution throwback beat off fellow nominees Bill Gates, Angela Merkel, Kofi Annan, Jacob Zuma and 'a Tibetan Panchen Llama called Boris' to take the prestigious annual gong.

A spokesperson for the Chinese International Piss Research Centre said Putin beat off plenty of his Pope Karol Wojtyla-spawned siblings including Prince Charles, Liam Fox, Oliver Lewtin and other daft tossers to take the 2011 biscuit - er...prize!.

News of the award was welcomed in Chappaqua, New York State where Bill Clinton aficionados are gunning for the ex-Dem president to take a third tilt at the White House next year.

Clinton has been applauded for wanting to emulate Putin's presidential ambitions with a third term as Russian president.

"WTF 'Bill Clinton to run for Russian President'?" incredulous Washington sources asked tonight.

"Once round the block is great, a second lap of honor totally excellent but...a THIRD TIME round? Don't make me puke, the very idea of Clinton and Putin back in power is the very stuff of NATO nightmares."

'Dim Eatery' Medvedev's plans to return to the restaurant business may now be put on hold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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