Adelaide - The Queen's tears flowed long and deep today as news of her firstborn's sudden, unexpected RIP flashed up on TV screens everywhere along her final Australian swansong trip. (Enuff of the LSD crap - Ed).
Sixty nine years have passed since Colonel Muammar Gaddafi last suckled on HM's breast - or 'less than 9' if you believe the busty blonde Ukranian 'wet nurse' who now inherits a 50% share of the late dictator's estate.
Goods and chattels itemised in his last will and testament include a few numbered Swiss bank accounts, a cuckoo clock collection and Saddam's first edition copies of Whore & Piss.
"It's terrible he's cut his Dear Old Mom from the will after everything she's given him..." Australian visit co-ordinator Baz Billabong said at lunchtime, "like syphilys, Mad Cow disease and congenital herpes!
"Wanna see pix of the two just after surgeons cut the five foot long umbilical cord?"