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Friday, 14 October 2011

image for Multiple sources confirm that Iran behind assassination plot, condom factory among targets for retaliation
The quality of Iranian condoms called into question: close to 33% of all condoms sliced almost in half

TEHRAN, Iran--Once again, Iran is in the shit. Only a few weeks after two American hikers were finally freed from captivity in Iran, multiple sources have confirmed that Iranian-based individuals plotted to kill the Saudi ambassador to the U.S., Adel A. Al-Jubeir. According to intercepted communications, the ambassador's price tag was $1.5 million.

Washington insiders intimate whereas it's clear that the U.S. wishes to retaliate against Iran, there's much debate as to where the U.S. should strike.

Possibilities include the presidential place, Air Force headquarters at Doshan Tapeh Air Base, Iran's largest air base at Mehrabad, any major air bases such as Shahroki Air Base or Vahdati Air Base, any of the six international airports, any of the six airfields of the National Iranian Oil Company, any of the 26 domestic airports in Iran, or Iran Aircraft Industries which make spare parts.

While all of these targets make for sound decision-making, some people in Washington feel U.S. retaliation should focus on the Iranian president's pride and joy: the Keyhan Bod condom factor located about two hours by car from Tehran, the only state-supported condom factory in the Middle East.

Said one insider, "It's no secret that Ahmadinejad loves his condoms, especially the fruity-flavored ones. Bombing that factory would really get his goat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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