Vatican City-- Pope Benedict XVI has issued a Papal Bull declaring that space aliens are evil, and they should be avoided by Roman Catholics. The declaration is the most important document from the Church in many years. The Vatican is especially concerned about the little grey aliens from Zeta Reticula, and said they should be shunned by parishioners.
"Do not have sexual relations with these bug-eyed creatures. They are from a Fallen Race, and have rejected our Lord." said the pope. "If they offer to insert an anal probe in you, simply refuse and walk away." he advised.
The Holy Father also mentioned that the gray aliens can be kept away by sprinkling holy water on them.
"These evil beings are afraid of holy water, so always have some with you. Especially the holy water blessed by myself!" he declared.
Just by chance, the Vatican is having a sale on holy water this month. Customers can buy one liter of holy water for $100.00 or two liters of holy water for $159.99 plus shipping and handling.
"The holy water is good stuff, and worth the money." said the pope. "Buy as much as you can. Legal costs are expensive."
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