Written by IainB
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Topics: Language, UN, French

Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for French to be dropped as a UN language
The UN doesn't mean Le One

Currently, the UN comprises of nearly two hundred countries, sharing some six thousand languages. In order to save the sanity of the member states, currently there are six working languages: Chinese, Spanish, English, Arabic, Russian and French.

Plans are now afoot to drop French, with possible future plans to drop Russian long as sufficient funds are found to pay off the Mafia.

"It makes sense," said UN spokesman Frank O'Fobe. "You've got something like two billion people speaking Chinese,English spoken in over a hundred countries as a national language, Spanish spoken by a similar number, Arabic, which is spoken as an exclusive language by an eighth of the world's population, Russian which is backed by the Mafia, and French. Twenty-eight countries list French, and some of those out of sympathy, like Canada."

The French are not very happy about the possible relegation of French to the same level as Welsh and Togonese.

"This is an outrage!" said Pierre Lavatore, ironically in flawless English. "French is one of the oldest unchanged languages in the world after Latin. We demand that our language continues as a working language!"

Most of the countries who could come out and support the French, such as Switzerland, Canada and Belgium all have a second language to fall back on anyway, and are collectively giving a peculiarly Gallic shrug to the argument.

"I don't care," said Canadian minister, Jack Lumber. "I'm from Ontario, I don't know any French."

"It's important we reduce the number of official UN languages," said Frank O'Fobe. "Translators are expensive, and every email, conference, speech and missive all have to be translated into six languages. If that could be reduced to just three or four, it would save millions."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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