World News
Gamekeepers get tigrish
London, United Kingdom. In news rapidly evolving over eons, the gamekeepers of Her Majesty's parks and reserves have voted to go on strike for 48 hours effective midnight Thursday to agitate for a 2% increase in pay which would bring them in line wit...
Israeli soldiers moon Facebook
JERUSALEM, Israel - In a recruitment drive gone awry, female Israeli soldiers dropped the trousers of their camouflage battle dress uniforms to moon photographers. The soldiers were wearing thong panties, rather than military-issued skivvies, how...
Scientists discover new species of fish
PAPUA, NEW GUINEA - Scientists know it as "pacu," but the natives of New Guinea refer to the same marine species as the "fellatio fish." "It's a real ball-sucker," Jimmy Wade told this reporter. "Sometimes, the fish goes even further, becoming a real...
Last Frites for Ratzinger ahead of Friday's Summer Solstice
Rome - A giant family sized fun-bucket of speciality Italian Fiefdom Fries has been delivered to the retired Pope's private quarters in Rome amid Vatican fears His Holiness might not make it past this Friday.
Treatment for blocked arteries has see...
Ecuador's state-of-the-art satellite is toast
WHO Warns Of Vampire Pandemic
Crop circle of dead MI6 cryptographer holdall sprouts suddenly at Alton Barnes Common
Queen's portrait defecated in Abbey
GG Surprise for Hapless Punters
The GG races at Royle Ashcart have surprised punters who expected exciting races.
Unfortunately GG8 proved disappointing with Dick Branson on Virgin Ridiculous winning by a short head. Bermuda Shorts was left far behind and the favourites Jersey B...
Renaming of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 2 a spooky omen
London - "Does it mean she'll kick the bucket tomorrow?" an air traffic controlled chuckled at today's announcement that a revamped Heathrow Airport building has just been named Terminal 2: The Queen's Terminal.
"Everyone knows HM 'is terminal', h...
'Lick my backside!' as Thatcher Spitting Image puppet pic channels new Queen stamps
Isle of Dogs, London - An entire print run of commemorative second class stamps featuring a new painting of Queen Elizabeth may have to be consigned to the shredder following an eruption of public disgust.
Commissioned** by Royal Mail the portrait...
US drones to patrol London terror hot spots
London - Fresh from Idaho sheep herding duties a consignment of six US unmanned combat air vehicles is enroute to London on emergency deployment following a Brit squaddie's machete attack murder outside Woolwich Barracks on Wednesday.
Announcing t...
News From DC
The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.
Cameron trying to create events to hide behind
Prime Minister David Cameron is desperate to find more big news stories to hide scandals from the public.
The latest round of scandals including Lords taking payments from lobbying firms and the collapse of A&E services due directly to his fla...
Sweet Turkish delight turns sour!
Turkey, once a bastion of east meets west, peace (apart from the Kurdish problem), the way forward for both; Islamic prosperity combined with western modernisation has now turned into a "not so delightful" place to be.
Sweden riots, UK riots, OK,...
Divorced Vlad The Impaler Putin 'has a rhythmic gymnast gentleman friend'
Bloodyvostock - "Think the Incredible Hulk in Alina Kabaeva's body," is how one Kremlin insider put it this morning, "a male rhythmic gymnast so supple and contortable it's a wonder all that spangly lycra never bursts during, er, workouts."
The an...
Did Philip Eat From Wrong Bucket At Palace Garden Party?
The Duke of Edinburgh is 'progressing satisfactorily' tonight after undergoing an exploratory operation on his abdomen performed by royal surgeon, Dr Gregory Rasputin. The results are being analysed by laboratory scientists though are expected to con...
Education Reforms
An overhaul of GCSEs in England has been announced by Education Secretary Michael Gove in an attempt to raise standards to "compete with the best in the world". Mr Gove announced that the government was thinking of introducing an I-Level standard som...
Prince Harry saves soldier from fashion blunder
Royal bad boy Prince Harry made a dramatic intervention last week, it was revealed, when a soldier from his unit almost bought a yellow t-shirt to wear with blue jeans. The incident occurred at a Next outlet in Afghanistan, when the private, drunk af...
Top knobs' shagging caper banjaxes No 10 spin machine
London - "This is the Brits' equivalent of the General Petraeus-Paula Broadwell scandal alright," a Pentagon cryptographer said today as the lurid details broke.
"Both UK protagonists are well known to US military intelligence, we regularly sweep...
Knock-and-run incident is suspected 'terror attack'
Reports are coming in of a suspected terror attack on the streets of London this afternoon. An unidentified teenager apparently knocked on the red door of a local resident and was filmed afterwards using religious language.
Witnesses say that the...
Latest Spoof World News Headlines
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Queensland rejects common-as-muck Queen Kate
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Women tennis players vie to inaugurate return of Screamliner Mile High Club
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Punch up on Everest causes avalanche!
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Textile retailers demand higher prices after building collapses in Bangladesh!
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Malingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead
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Gillard declares martial law
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Hydrogen peroxide leaking from Internationl Space Station beauty salon
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USAID gives $625,000 to Cherie Blair cha-ri-dee 'to help African women set up own mobile hacking scams'
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Gitmo to close - detainees to enter foster care
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Disgraced Cardinal sentenced to full Bell Book N Candle exorcism
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British drones in Afghan poppy destruction ops
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Culture of entitlement, eh? Archbishop of Canterbury 'sitting pretty on offshore tax haven nest egg'
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Sheikh Maktoum's Horses in Another Doping Scandal Again
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Little Foot Discovered
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'CIA has played a counter-intelligence blinder' says Mossad bureau chief
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Massive hashish asteroid on Earth collision course around May 31st
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Kim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy
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France Announces That The Eiffel Tower Will Become A Clothes-Optional Landmark
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Hurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!
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Another blow for the Spanish Armada
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