Written by Jason Safoutin
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Topics: Police, drunk

Friday, 30 December 2005

image for Babysitter & Toddlers Have Party. Busted By Police
Toddler who really knows how to party.

PATCHOGUE, N.Y. - A 37 year-old man was arrested when two toddlers he was supposed to be babysitting, were found drunk.

The 2 and 3 year old toddlers were found drunk by police responding to a call about loud music. The baby sitter was alledgedly already passed out drunk from too much partying and the babies just continued the fun.

Police found to youngest toddler in her bed with a bottle of Jack Daniels fitted snuggly in her hand. The other toddler (2yrs. old) was found in the living room listening to loud 50 Cent music while chugging a bottle of Absolute Citron.

When police entered the house the 3 year old was startled but giggling and having trouble walking and keeping her balance. "She also had blood shot eyes, smelled of alcohol and was lethargic," said one officer.

The toddler was taken to the hospital where tests revealed that she was legally drunk with a blood alcohol level of 0.094. The legal limit for alcohol consumption in the state of NY is 0.08 or lower.

The second child was taken into custody by Child Protective Services. She was not drunk.

At the time the children's mom was in the hospital where she was giving birth to her third child.

The babysitter, Juan Reyes, was charged with child endangerment and was ordered to be held on $5,000 bail. He is scheduled to return to court on January 3, 2006.

Reyes is being represented by the Legeal Aid Society, an organization for drunk people who need lawyers and spent all ther money on booze.

If convicted, Reyes could face 10 years in prison.

According to inside sources at Spoof, The parents were not suprised at the incident.

"Our children have a problem. All they do is sit around and party. We cannot stop them. When we go they break to liquor cabinet open and go to town," said the mother. "Hey look at the bright side, at they know how to 'party' ".

It is unknown if Reyes gave the liquor to the toddlers or if the toddlers bought it at the corner store down the street earlier that day. Police did find a fake ID in the home, but refused to comment on who it belinged to.

The two toddlers are remaining in protective custody until it can be decided as to whether or not to place the children in rehab.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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