Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: England, Fighting

Friday, 9 December 2005

image for Hurricane Katrina Reforming, Orleans Mayor says "Get it RIGHT this time Folks !"
Katrina, lower New England, "almost" strong enough to fly a Kite in

Even though the remnants of Hurricane Katrina are still just a gentle "wisp of a breeze" hovering at longitude 40.175N, latitude -101.012W off the coast of New England, residents of New Orleans, particular Mayor Ray Nagin are fighting over plywood, stocking up on Spahgettio's, preparing for the worst . CNN meteorologist Milton Haines explained the concept of Recuri-Canes ..

"Katrina never died, she just headed north, dissipated and like most hurricanes .. rested. For a bit. Unfortunately, unlike most hurricanes, she suddenly decided to re-assemble, head south and according to latest projections, follow the exact same path that lead to the total and complete annihilation of New Orleans as first reported here on CNN."

Meteorological scientists say that only 3 hurricanes in recorded history have become "Recuri-Canes, hurricanes that somehow RE-assemble in Canada then head south, gaining intensity as they go as if on a mission to finish "the job" they previously left undone. Meteorologist Haines went on to explain,

"We still can't understand how or why they tend to follow the exact same path they followed during their first incarnation as deadly category 5 hurricanes but for some reason, the ocean currents, El Nino .. we don't know but the Recuri-Canes seem to possess some errie kind of 'tracking memory'. That's the best we can explain it. "

Given that, Katrina, currently with maximum sustained winds of over 3 mph, according to all projections could again come crashing ashore in New Orleans sometime in Mid January, perhaps near or during the time of the Superbowl which of course this year will NOT be held at the Superdome for obvious reasons."

"The good news is", Haines told reporters, "Recuri-Cane Katrina will NOT be a cat 5 by any means. Recuri-Canes NEVER re-strengthen to their original deadly intensity. We're looking at Katrina making landfall in New Orleans well below cat 5 .. cat 3 even .. that's the good news."

When asked what the BAD news was Haines replied,

"Well, in mid January it's going to be cold in New Orleans .. perhaps in the 40's even 30's. Add 130 mph sustained winds to that and we're looking at wind-chills well below -90. Parka's, mittens and a last will and testament recommended if you're going to be out and about in New Orleans the day Katrina hits this time."

FEMA, given the 30-45 day lead time is expected to begin emergency rescue and recovery planning no later than Jan 15th. Weather permitting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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