Written by Rodney Romb
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Thursday, 14 July 2011

An unknown man from Wisconsin, yesterday admitted to rumors of having sexual relations with his apartment.

The man, it is believed, committed the act, by placing his private part between a sliding door partition, in the middle of the apartment.

Complaints were first received when neighbors alerted authorities to strange yelling and shaking sounds coming from the apartment.

At first, it was thought, that the man was watching the Discovery Channel. Upon closer inspection, witnesses concluded that a strange act was occurring.

The man is currently under police arrest as they are viewing this as an act of soliciting a prostitute due to him being a renter of the apartment.

The arrested man is due to be sent for psychological evaluation. It is believed that the attraction for the apartment initially developed due to constant feelings of arousal for light fittings , plug switches and a vintage stove.

Further rumors that the man believes buying the apartment is a dowry for marriage, have yet to be confirmed.

This is not the first case of unusual relations. A South Korean man recently wed a pillow figure of a Japanese Anime character.

"This is the first known case of a human person being sexually attracted to any form of physical building." said Wilton Polowski of Wisconsin Police Department.

DNA tests have yet to confirm whether or not a condom was used.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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