Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: France, French

Sunday, 27 November 2005

image for France Surrenders to U.S. Girl Scout
"Lisa and Sandra contemplate their next conquest"

(REUTERS) Sources in Paris say that a 7 year old United States Girl Scout visiting France played what she terms "a joke" on the French president by showing up at his door with several boxes of mint cookies and demanding that French president, Jacques Chiraq surrender complete and full control of the Nation of France and all it's subsidiaries and alliances to her and her fellow Girl Scout Sandra .. "or else".

"It was just a joke", young Lisa Collins later told CNN reporters saying, "Me and Sandra didn't want them to give up their country to us. We barely have enough time to sell our cookies let alone run a European nation."

Jacques Chiraq, sources say, upon learning of the "joke" immediately revoked his unconditional surrender to the U.S. Girl Scout and returned all 13 boxes of chocolate mint cookies he had just purchased from her.

White House State Department officials say that despite President Bush's conversation with Chiraq where Bush told Chriaq, "Come on Jacques, it was just a joke", Jacques Chiraq, not appeased by the president's conciliatory words demanded that the United States of America issue a full official formal apology for their Girl Scout's actions or he would .. take swift and immediate military action against all American military troops stationed at the South Pole.

Nabisco, makers of America's favorite Girl Scout cookie, the "chocolate mint one" told reporters,

"I hope France and our American Girl Scouts don't go to war over this. Our scouts are all mostly 7-12 year old girls and France's military I hear could possibly rip our Girl Scouts to shreds with their tanks, missiles, mortars and nukes. If France, for some odd reason chose to turn and fight. "

Lisa Collins, a bit "miffed" by the whole affair, speaking with Larry King Live told France and Chiraq to "bring it on!"

United States Girl Scouts, although poorly armed do, as Lou Grant once told Mary Tyler Moore,

"Have spunk". Lou Grant might hate spunk but, as young 7 year old Lisa Collins put it,

"That SPUNK might just be enough for me and Sandra to royally kick Jake, Jock, Javques, whatever his name is .. royally kick his and his whole country's rumps."

Selma Wilkins, National director of the Girl Scouts of America publicly sympathized with 7 year old Lisa Collin's thoughts but recommended that the Girl Scouts of America NOT take military action against France at this point in time.

Sandra, Lisa's 8 year old friend who co-authored the French surrender, according to local reporters in Denver said, was "saddened" by the decision Girl Scout's decision to not declare complete and total war on the nation of France.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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