Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Friday, 1 July 2011

Marcus Bachmann, husband of presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann, held a press conference yesterday to explain his comments that gays were barbarians.

At a press conference held in a men's room at the Minneapolis airport, Mr. Bachmann, dressed in tight-fitting chinos, a flamingo polo shirt, and a yellow scarf, said the following: "Yes, I did say that gays were barbarians, but--"

He paused, rolled his eyes, and winked, "Some of my best friends are barbarians and some of the best barbarians are my friends! I simply don't know what all the fuss is about!"

A reporter asked, "Are you gay, Mr. Bachmann?"

"Heavens no," said Bachmann, "I am married to a presidential candidate and I am from Minnesota. We DO NOT have gays here!" Bachmann ran his hands through his hair and smiled over at ex-Senator Larry Craig, who had accompanied him to the press conference and assumed a wide stance near the podium.

Bachmann and Craig were last seen walking arm-in-arm into the local Greyhound bus station.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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