Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Police, Florida

Thursday, 24 November 2005

image for Police on 24-hour duty at Debra Lafave's Home.

TAMPA FLORIDA - (AP) Local law enforcement officers have been kept busy at one unlikely Tampa residence. Ever since the details of sex offender Debra Lafave's home confinement sentence were announced several days ago, a steady stream of young boys have been hanging around the neighborhood hoping to meet the former school teacher.

Rodney Bishop is a 14-year old boy who rolled his gas powered lawn mower half way across town. "I figure Miss Lafave might need her lawn mowed and I just wanted to volunteer my services. I'd like to help her with anything she might need. She doesn't even need to pay me anything."

Stevie Winslow looks to be about 12 years old and is carrying several schoolbooks. "I want to ask Miss Lafave if she would help me with some homework that was assigned to me. I'd even pay her if she agreed to tutor me… in any subject… it doesn't matter, just as long as I get to spend some time with her. She's really a swell teacher and I think she could teach me a lot of stuff my real teacher never covers."

Tampa Police Detective Ted Summers appeared to be in charge of the ten-man detail assigned to guard Debra Lafave's home from the hundreds of adolescent boys who have been finding every possible excuse to get to meet the attractive Lafave. "We've had several boys with cameras hoping to catch a picture of Miss Lafave straddling her motorcycle. We had to turn away quite a few 8 to 10 year old boys who were trying to set up lemonade stands in front of her house. One enterprising teenager brought a ladder here so he could help clean out Miss Lafave's roof gutters. I can't begin to tell you how many boys have volunteered to water her lawn. We had to call for a dumpster to take care of all the newspapers that have suddenly been delivered to her front door. The bicycle traffic on this street is so heavy, it's become difficult for a car to make it through."

According to the terms of her sex offender plea bargain, Debra Lafave is supposed to avoid all contact with children, but that doesn't seem to deter the large numbers of boys who want to make contact with her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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