Written by Minka Kelly
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Women, Ugly

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Who is the most ugliest woman in the world? Hollywood would have presented her to us. Maya Angelou, Beyonce Knowles or perhaps Pearl Bailey.

Who could it be? Correspondent Andy Jackson reports the woman who currently holds the title, at least according to thousands of Web sites, and Internet polls, is someone you've probably never heard of.

Her name is Jamaica Williams, and she is a homeless city dweller who lives on the streets of New York. The reigning queen of ugliness has not had a date with a man since she was born.

That may seem like a lot of ugliness, but the inner city, is famous for churning out more ugly women a year than Africa and the Middle East combined. Two ugly females are produced out of three females in the inner city.

There are no sex scenes, not even kissing for this ugly babe. Every time you think someone's going to do it with her, they'll burst into laughter instead.

"I'd assume that's really a reflection of our society," Jerome Washington says, when asked to explain the woman's dilemma. "Of course people kiss and of course people have a very healthy love life. This is the land of the hopeful. But nevertheless, in our society you don't really see men around the street corner trying to kiss Jamaica Williams.

Jamaica Williams says she contemplated becoming a lesbian because men didn't want her, but she changed her mind when she realized that a life time of mental scares would be too painful to live with. "It's not easy losing your womanhood and remaining sane," said Williams.

Despite the attention, Jamaica Williams says she doesn't think much about the way she looks.

"I am really OK with the way I look, It's fine," she says. "All this is transient. I mean, it's really, you know, it changes with time, and that's the internal."

Make Minka Kelly's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

1 5 12 17

Go to top ^