Written by Morse
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Topics: anthony weiner

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

image for Whiny Weiner Now Blames Wife Huma for Lack of Hummers and Public Penile Problems!
Weiner Says Huma Couldn't Carry His Tune in the Bedroom!

In his latest twitter defense, confessed liar, closet wanker, and Democrat Congressman Anthony 'the schemer' Weiner is now blaming his 'personal sexual problems' on his wife of less than a year, Huma, who he now hints wasn't into giving him "hummers!"

His fixation on oral sex, and the lack of it, popped up in just released text messages saved and released by a 'Friend' who says she and the Congressman exchanged over 200 Sex messages, as well as phone sex, while the Congressman was behind closed doors in his Washington Office.

"He really got excited when he learned I was Jewish and despite that really enjoyed Oral Sex! When we finally connected on his DC office phone he was really breathing hard when I started to Hum the NYU fight song...actually, I think he actually came in his pants...what a hound dog!!"

Kirsten Powers, a liberal talk show head, said she dated him for about 3 months, and then he suddenly dropped her. "I don't know what it was, ' she said dreamily, " I can hum a tune, I can do a ditty on a comb with tissue on it but I never did master the mouth organ...I don't know what the big deal was anyway, the Putz never had any rhythm himself and couldn't even master the skin flute...though God knows he tried hard enough....hours of practicing on himself!"

Anthony, while disappointed that Huma wasn't the Hummer he thought she'd be, said he wasn't sorry he married her. "She Loves ME..." he cried breathlessly into the microphone this afternoon, " almost as much as I love myself!"

Before quitting the Congressman's staff, his last remaining aide, Ulga Cominsky said," we all had such high hopes Anthony would be Mayor of NYC one day. When he married Huma to get close to the Clinton's hoping some of their charisma would rub off....who knew how it would end. Sometimes what you wish would rub off just remains a stain you can't hide
on the underpants of your life!"

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