Written by K.C. Bell
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Sarah Palin's Paul Revere
The Palins Are Coming

Trapped again in the pesky media headlights during her bus tour of historical landmarks, Sarah Palin was asked another tricky, complex, gotcha question by a member of that lame brain media: "Who was Paul Revere?"

Levi Johnston, unmarried father of her grandson, said the family could always tell when she didn't know an answer. Well, it can be reported that her eyes do not begin to rotate, simultaneously spinning in opposite directions. It might just look that way.

"Who was Paul Revere?"

Granted, Sarah's reply wasn't exactly succinct or correct: "He who warned the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure, and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."

Ayeeee!

Her defenders wish to point out that the British did indeed have something to do with Paul Revere's ride, and he was on a horse.

Maybe it was caused by indigestion after eating pizza with Donald Trump, (who used a fork and knife) a few days earlier, but her scramble egg reply had errors: Paul Revere wasn't warning the British. He was warning against the British. They were the enemy. They were coming. Revere's warning had nothing to do with taking away our arms and there were not any ringing bells. Revere carried a lantern and he was shouting. There were not any warning shots. We were not going to be secure or free.

The mid-night ride of Paul Revere was a call to arms and prepare for war. Sarah's version would have had citizens turn over and go back to sleep. The British would have invaded, won, with the U.S. remaining a British colony. Thank you very much. An example of her reaction to a 3 a.m. telephone call. No way, thank you very much!

Do not ask her opinion or anything about the maybe or maybe not Anthony Weiner tweet that was heard around the world and sent to Seattle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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