Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: TSA, Plastic

Saturday, 14 May 2011

image for TSA to outlaw silverware in boon to plastics industry
Plastic hammers are allowed, but no larger than this one

Nevada - (Ruders) Janet Reno announced today that metal utensils would be outlawed and that plastic would be mandated for all kitchen and table ware. No glass, steel, silver, or other valuable commodities would be allowed in restaurants and homes. Special licenses will be required to buy or posses any non plastic tool or utensil.

The price of silver fell on the news, while the price of oil rebounded.

Janet Reno held her special license up for photographs so that the police around the nation would know what to check for. She had license serial number one. In her other hand she waved a Ginsu knife.

Spot checks at airports, bus stations, cruise ships, even row boats, will be held by special squads (SS) of TSA agents checking for non-plastic contraband.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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