Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Osama Bin Laden

Friday, 13 May 2011

Navy seals did not take down Osama bin Laden. Quack News is in agreement with Bush administration's claim to be totally responsible for the capture and death of Osama bin Laden. Water boarding, (done seven years ago) works!

Water boarding set the course for the eventual capture and death of Osama bin Laden. Without water boarding? No Osama! Dick Cheney added, "Have no doubt about it," with a sweeping roll of the head. That sweeping roll of the head puts everything right up there with death and taxes.

Though the media is having trouble leaping back and forth with the names of Obama and Osama, The Spoof can inform the rest of the world: there is no relationship. They are not one and the same person. Get your names straight. It's the difference between B S and S B. Not rocket science.

Danny De Vito, (scheduled to play Dick Cheney in a future John Waters film) claims to be the real and original source behind the capture of Osama bin Laden. He performed in the 1985 film, Jewel Of The Nile, way before water boarding, and his film was about North Africa and corrupt leaders.

Hearing this claim, Michael Douglas shouldered De Vito aside, and announced that he too was in the film, and besides he also played a president in that putrid film, The American President, which gives him reel authentic White House executive experience, and therefore he and not Danny De Vito or the Bush administration is responsible for the capture and death of Osama bin Laden.

Not to be outdone, Isabella Rosselini announced that since her mother, Ingrid Bergman, played Joan of Arc in the 1946 film of the same name, and the film was about a revolution, and there was a "mascalzoni" head of state that had her mother burned at the stake, (so it's a stretch) as a descendant of Ingrid Bergman, she claims to be responsible for the capture and death of Osama bin Laden.

Who said: Success has many fathers, but failure is a bastard?

And who orders a ham sandwich and claims it's still fresh seven years later?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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