Written by Daniel Wolf
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Topics: FedEx, UPS

Friday, 13 May 2011

image for UPS and FedEx trucks "officially" found

In an update to a previously reported story, it turns out that the "missing" delivery trucks turned out NOT to be "missing" after all.

According to Review expert Agatha Scrutinizer, whom the Department of Homeland Security assigned, to find the missing trucks, it would seem that the trucks were not missing, after all.

When Ms. Scrutinizer went over all of the log books, she found that several, of the missing trucks were, in fact, down for maintenance, such as oil changes, and tire checks.

For some reason, company computers failed to forward the maintenance memo to Mr. Strawberry. As for the fleet mechanics, who made the vehicles "vanish", these people were un-aware that the holding section had not contacted Mr. Strawberry.

In another, computer, glitch, the company computer did not register which trucks were being moved from city to city, to serve temporary duty, while regular fleet trucks were down for repairs.

The remainder of the 15, "missing" trucks, turned out to be "on-loan", to the department of Defense, for couter-terrorism training.

It seems that Washington D.C. wanted to find out how much time Special Forces would need, to infiltrate, and secure, the bulky trucks.

The very last truck, to be accounted for was sitting in a service garage, in Peoria Illinois, after the driver ran over what he THOUGHT was a simple pot-hole. As it turns out, the hole was big enough to twist the axel, and punch a hole, in the oil pan.

Driver Speedy Gonzales said he didn't know why, but when he filed the damage report, with the company, he felt the need to print out the receipt.

U.P.S., like FedEx, has no idea of why their computers have no records, of truck movements, or a copy, of Mr. Gonzales" damage report.

Each company promises to give a thorough review, of its computer operations, as soon as the computers come back up.

It is thanks to the diligence, of Ms. Scrutinizer that the delivery trucks have been accounted for.

On condition of anonymity, several local, and state, police departments have reported that a total of about 5 million reports came in, of people seeing the vans, after the first alert was issued.
Now, the police hope that the public can rest at ease, knowing that all of the trucks are accounted for.

End of story, I hope.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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