Washington - A CIA briefing has laid bare the fetid fucts - er...facts!: Charles is General Pinochet's son and owes the US taxman billions of dollars in unpaid war crime fines.
Still hyperventilating at Bin Laden's death the Pretender slithered into DC this morning on a jet borrowed from US banker Joe Albritton.
The ex-CEO of the disgraced Riggs Bank - which laundered Pinochet's $$$s and perjured itself to the US Justice department - had been a pallbearer during Diana's marriage.
Last week Albritton shocked Royal Protection Racket cops by worming his way to the Abbey nuptials ahead calling on Mrs Thatcher to kiss her ass and wash her feet in an act of ritual obeisance.
His refurbished Tupovlev-124 was once at her disposal during the Sahara desert manhunt for daftass rally driving son Mark.
The customised runabout is rumored to be an exact twin of the ill-fated plane that did for Polish President Lech Kaczynski and nearly 100 government officials in April 2010.
"WTF is this asshole doing in the White House anyway?" a disgruntled First Lady Michelle Obama moaned this afternoon.
Last week the US media pointed out that of the 2,000-strong Westminster Abbey congregation there were exactly eleven non-whites.
UK Prime Monster David Cameron said the event was "typical of the very best of what is British."
Mrs Pinochet is 104.