WASHINGTON (AP) The White House announced that President George Bush would be making a new effort to distance himself with all the political scandals that have been troubling his administration. White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, "The President realizes that he can no longer just hide out at The Ranch in Crawford, chopping wood, clearing brush, and guzzling Jim Beam. The American people have grown tired of hearing about the President's long vacations and aloof attitude. Karl Rove suggested that President Bush appear on some network TV shows."
When President Bush was asked what some of his favorite TV shows were, he said that he liked Dancing with the Stars'. "Back when I was sowing my oats in Texas, I used to do a pretty good Hustle. I used to go around to all the bars and dance with any loose babes I could find. Once they found out who my Daddy was, I had it made! Since I've been living in this White House, I don't get too many chances to practice my dancing besides I don't think Laura would like me dancing with a bunch of younger women. So I just turn on the upstairs TV and watch Dancing with the Stars'. I was really thrilled when Karl Rove told me that he had arranged for me to appear on that TV show. I've been practicing my dance moves whenever I get a chance. There's this one little room just off the Oval Office where I can play some music and dance. I've been spending three or four hours a day in there for the past few weeks."
ABC has not yet announced when the President will be appearing on Dancing with the Stars'. "We will be having a media blitz once we firm up the date. Our Neilson ratings ought to go though the roof when President Bush makes his first appearance."
There is also an unconfirmed rumor that the White House has made arrangements for Bush to appear on two episodes of Blind Date' - one with Harriet Miers and the other with Ann Coulter. First Lady Laura Bush has given her OK, but only if she goes along as chaperone. "I'm actually looking forward to going out on a date with George and Ann Coulter... she's kinda hot!"