Written by Jean Le Fete
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Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan To Do Community Service at the L.A. Morgue
The Stiff Mobile!

Los Angelos- A judge told Lindsay Lohan on Friday she was no longer going to get off easy, she was sentenced to 120 days community service with the L.A. County Morgue.

Said Judge Saunter, who admitted not knowing who Lohan was before the case, "I think it will do you good to work people who keep a stiff upper lip," quipped the judge with no smile.

Meanwhile at the Morgue, county workers were already talking about the various jobs they would let Lohan try.

"Oh I can't wait to let her "Bag n Tag" baby!" said Emmajean Laporte, "She's worked with some stiffs before, but never when old RIGA MOR TUS has set in. Baby you try and get bluejeans off some 300 pound man when he's cold stone dead and stiff as friggin board!"

Lindsay will also likely get to drive what some in the office call "The Stiff Mobile", a three wheeled vehicle which helps he department move bodies from one facility to another.

"She'll also get to help clean-up after autopsies. If she thinks she's skinny now just wait, she'll be ready for pleated skirts after this gig!" said Emmajean.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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