Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Saturday, 16 April 2011

image for SuBo fanatics suffer "voter's finger"!
Keep on votin'

Hundreds of Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have been hospitalized over the past week suffering from "voter's finger."

The problem began when the fanatics started voting in a meaningless online popularity poll. The poll sent the fanatics into a frenzy after a highly respected nun was seen to be placed higher than SuBo.

"We must make sure 'Lady' Susan is placed higher than this woman. Even though we claim to be highly religious, we absolutely cannot have some nun we've never heard of beating her," demanded a fanatic.

Chief fanatics sent out an urgent three-line whip to the fanatics.

"You must vote, vote, vote, and not stop until we tell you to. Anyone not voting at least 1000 times for Susan will be ignored then banned," said a chief fanatic.

"Operation 'Destroy the Nun' is now underway!" rambled another chief fanatic.

"I've not slept for 3 days now! I've voted 8000 times! I should be in for a chief fanatic job after this!" said a blurry-eyed fanatic.

"We should make a fortune out of these loonies! They've increased our site hits no end! Our advertisers are loving it! We don't even care who wins! Cha-ching!" cackled a spokesperson for the polling site.

The fanatics are still voting, despite the poll having already closed.

"We're praying that they allow all our votes to count! I'm sure that they'll accept our votes if we send them a nice red scarf!" said some deluded fanatic. "Either that or we'll get our wealthy husbands to sue them!" she continued.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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