Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 17 April 2011

image for Sarah Palin Bitterly Upset At The News That Some Arizona Tea Bag Party Members Are Planning To Form The Arizona Sand Bag Party
Sarah Palin is extremely concerned that her Tea Bag Party is losing lots of its members. (Photo courtesy of Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah "Geography Girl" Palin is reportedly very upset with a lot of members of her Tea Bag Party.

Palin, who has staunchly denied rumors that husband Todd is having an affair with his fishing guide, the stunningly sexy Nanicka Zapalicka, 28, is tremendously concerned at the fact that a big faction of her Tea Bag Party is abandoning her slowly sinking ship.

One ex-Tea Bagger identified as Maddox Okerstick, 37, said that he just got fed up with everyone making fun of him by saying that the person he is backing for president of the United States does not even know where Haiti is located, or that Sweden is not located in South America, or that Milwaukee is not an island in the South Pacific.

Another former Palin Tea Bagger, Velvetina Breadnut, 26, said that she has really been very disappointed ever since "Shotgun" Palin had those crosshairs drawn over the 20 Democratic candidates.

She said that, that was the last straw. Breadnut also mentioned the fact that even Sarah's own daughter, the amazing dancer Bristol "The Pistol" Palin allegedly changed the locks on her brand new Maricopa, Arizona home so that her mother could not enter.

"Snowflake" Palin reportedly told Tittle Tattle Tonight that it did not matter because she learned how to pick locks when she was a junior back at Wasilla's Nanook of The Frozen North High School.

And so Okerstick and Breadnut and roughly 35 percent of Palin's Tea Bag Party members have splintered off and formed the Sand Bag Party. Okerstick stated that this new party is about as different as the Tea Bag Party as two parties could be.

He added that he has been elected to be the Party co-chairperson along with Tori Fifi Pumphandle, 31, who used to own a franchise of six El Matador Macho Taco Restaurants before Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer had them shut down since some of the menu items were in Spanish.

Word on the streets of Wasilla is that Sarah Palin is so depressed that she plans to go on a 24-hour hunt and hopefully shoot at least three moose.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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