Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 7 April 2011

image for Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker Is Now Blaming His Anti-Union Bill On "Witchcraft"
15 of the 45 Wisconsin State Police who guard Governor Scott Walker's home 24/7.

MADISON, Wisconsin - The governor of the "Cheese State" (i.e. Wisconsin) has been catching so much flack, grief, outrage, and resentment over the way he ignored the rights of his state's union workers by outlawing their right to enter into collective bargaining that he has changed his cell phone number, his home phone number, his license plate number, and even the address number on his house.

Governor Scott "The Not So Great Scott" Walker has been bombarded with catcalls, expletives, cursing, and lots and lots of bitter remarks, and that is just in his church from the members of the congregation.

USA DAYBREAK is reporting that the pastor of his church Pastor Milburn Tuckster Fittheimer has even asked him to leave the church and go find some other church because the members of his church are 87 percent union.

The governor asked Pastor Fittheimer if he could at least sit in the last pew and act as quiet as a mouse. The pastor responded by asking Scotty boy what effen part of 'leave the church' did he not friggin understand.

Governor Walker confided to his next door neighbor Elmer P. Crackerlips that just in the past week alone his Facebook friends has gone from 1,983 all the way down to 17.

Walker called up USA DAYBREAK and explained that he was very sorry about turning his back on every single one of Wisconsin's union workers including teachers, policemen, firemen, professional baseball players, football players, basketball players, and wrestlers.

He then added that he has no idea why he acted in such a stupidly unprofessional and uncaring manner. He then took a sip of his Johnny Walker Red, a puff from his Camel Cigarette, and blamed it all on 'witchcraft.'

USA DAYBREAK asked the governor if he was afraid that he may be kidnapped and taken down to Mexico. He replied that he was but he then added that he had heard that the kidnappers were going to take him down to Guatemala and not Mexico.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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