"Over the years, we have joked that George looks just like, Alfred. It really ticked him off, but we entered his picture in a Alfred E. Neuman contest and he won first place," brother Jeb said.
"When the girls were little, they saw a Mad Magazine at one of our friends house, and pointed to Alfred's picture and said, Daddy!' Wife Laura added, "He never let them look at that magazine again. Even his parents say George is a dead ringer for Alfred."
"The kids at school teased him and called him names like Uncle Al.' He got so mad at his brother one time for teasing him, that he taped his mouth shut and tied him to a chair, " Mom, Barbara said.
Some conspiracy theorists say the reason he looks like Alfred is because George W. Bush Jr. and Alfred E. Neuman Jr. are one and the same. "The amount of circumstantial evidence to support our claim is over-whelming. If we were to present our findings in a court of law, we could show that indeed, they share the same body and are indeed, the same person.
Getting our case to court is another story. This President is the most protected man alive, and the reason? The best place to hide the truth is to place it right in front of the public, so that anyone who would even suggest, that the most visible man in the world, the President of the United States, is really a cartoon character, would be regarded as a loony. We have plenty of evidence to prove that he is Alfred E. Neuman.
Facts they list to support their case are as follows:
1. Both George W. and Alfred's parents were from New York.
2. Alfred and George were educated in the East, but speak with phony Texas accents.
3. Nail clippings taken from a hotel room where George W. stayed, were analyzed, and revealed the ink used in comic books such as Mad Magazine, beneath the nails.
Other evidence they claim supports their theory:
1. Alfred and George, both rely heavily on their middle initial for identification. (Alfred E., George W.)
2. George W. and Alfred E. attended Boy Scout camp in Maine at the same time.
3. In the small village of Nutsville, England, the name Alfred is used as a nickname for George. ??? What? (Who would believe this crap.)
One insider told reporters, "The truth is we just like to piss him off. He acts like such a weenie when he's mad. There is nothing funnier than winding that toy-boy up, and watching him spin."