Written by Jalapenoman
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Republicans, Parents

Monday, 19 September 2005

image for Republicans and Parents to Fight Forced Busing in New Orleans
Parents protest forced busing in New Orleans

(AP) Members of the Republican Party have vowed to fight against new forced busing in New Orleans. As several of the schools have been destroyed and others are still underwater, those few families that have been able to return to these areas have to have somewhere to send their kids. Schools in mostly white neighborhoods that were not damaged are also not full because many families have not returned from their vacation homes in Colorado.

"It seemed like a perfect fit," said Assistant School Superintendant Paul Puzzlebook. "We've got good schools with no kids and good kids with no schools."

"Are you kidding me!" said Aretha Bookcover, Republican Party Councilman. "We moved into our neighborhood to keep our kids from having to go to school with the scum of the earth white trash and the lower class blacks and hispanics. If they want to send their better athletes in to give them a place to play and strengthen our teams, that's one thing. But making my son and daughter sit next to some minority that can't dunk a basketball is out of the question!"

Strangely enough, reactions from the poorer areas in town were mixed. One parent who refused to give her name said that "I don't want them prejudiced honkies puttin' they racist attitudes in my little girl's head. She don't need to be around no uppity whiteys. Asides that, she don't want to eat they kinda food nohow."

A parent that supported the move was Burt Gumbo. "I want my kids to get schooling. If it is across town, it's still schooling. Books is books and learning is learning. If they got empty classrooms and we got no classrooms, they we need to put them together."

A parent's group from one school in an upper class neighborhood held a meeting last night to protest to the school board. School PTA President and Group Spokesperson April Backstop read this prepared statement after the meeting. "We don't think these children should be bused into our schools. We all know that minorities can't swim; just look at the Olympics. We feel that, for the safety of these minorities and poor children, they should not have to swim to their bus stops just so they can come on our school. Our PTA VIce Presidents husband works at the local PBS station and they have agreed to run episodes of Sesame Street, the Schoolhouse Rock commercials, and old After School Specials, all day long so that these kids can get their education until their schools are drained. We also don't feel safe if our kids have to be transported to these trashy schools through disease ridden parts of the city that have not been cleaned up. We are only looking out for the welfare of all children."

The School Board would not give a comment or an interview, but said that the situation would be worked out after they found some school buses that hadn't been swept out to sea.

Make Jalapenoman's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

1 2 24 17

Go to top