Written by Asheville Jack
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Topics: lightning

Thursday, 24 February 2011

image for Local Millionaire Offers Reward for Quieter Lightning Storms

Boca Grande, Fl - A local man has offered a $200,000 reward to anyone who can find a way to make quieter thunderstorms.

Morty Shafter, who describes himself as a retired marine biologist from New York, offered the reward after discovering Florida's subtropical thunderstorms frightened Jeer and Heckle, his twin miniature Poodles.

"It's the lightning and thunder, but mainly the thunder," said Morty, adding that the storms don't bother him.

The dogs will run and hide in an upstairs bedroom closet according to Marty. "They close the door behind them and hide there. So of course I have to stay there too, just to keep them calm until it's safe to come out. I've slowly come to realize I can't do this for the rest of my life, hence the reward money."

Flem Nebblebesh, Marty's ex-best friend and current next door neighbor, is currently suing Mr. Shafer for breech of an oral agreement. Mr. Nebblebesh claims he is entitled to the reward money after fabricating three set of sound deadening earmuffs, one for Marty and two miniature ones for Jeer and Heckle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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