Written by wadenelson
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Topics: French, Hurricane

Monday, 29 August 2005

New Orleans -- The French Quarter may be deserted, but thousands of revelers are still hoping for a glimpse of girls gone wild -- specifically Hurricane Katrina -- by way of webcams. WEBCAMSaimed at Bourbon Street and other New Orleans haunts are expected to show rising floodwaters inundating the downtown area over the next 24 hours.

Forecasters currently predict Katrina will make landfall in or near 'Narlens sometime around 4 a.m. Monday morning, turning Narlens into a modern day Atlantis.

New Orleans, known for a murder rate 10X the national average, is a cesspool of crime and filth that desparately needs flushing" said Pat Robertson, in an apparent attempt to dethrone Anne Coulter as the "most despised media personality of 2005. Robertson continued, "A catastrophe of biblical proportions is just what this Sodom and Gomorrah deserves." Even some liberals were forced to agree."

New Orleans looters, planning ahead, have already begun chartering boats large enough to haul away plasma tv's, and other booty. But Swift Boat Veterans for Peace? have sworn to protect the city with their Riverine force of gunboats. "We blew up North Vietnamese sampans full of goodies, and we'll take care of those who think they'll profit from other's misfortune.

Chicory coffee, binets, bugs (crawfish) and other Narlens delicacies are reportedly being served by Red Cross workers at the Superdome, a shelter of "last resort" for the elderly, poor, and others unable to flee the city.

Forest Gump Jr., President of the Gump Seafood compnay, was unavailable for comment according to his CFO, "Sargeant Dan" Stevens. "He's driving one of the boats. They've taken the shrimpers up to Bilouxi in an effort to ride out the storm.

One by one, streaming videocams and webcams located in the Big Easy have gone off line, either due to excessive traffic, or, more likely, theft.

The National Weather Service is expecting a storm surge of 20-30' from Katrina, with waves adding to that height. The levee's surrounding The big Easy average seventeen foot in height. It may indeed be "Bye, Bye Miss American Pie," but any Chevy driven to one of THESE levees will be a submarine by sunrise," experts claim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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