Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 4 February 2011

image for Monica Lewinsky Hired To Be The Spokesperson For The White House Pizza Franchise
Monica Lewinsky - The new spokesperson for White House Pizza. (Photo courtesy of Bill Clinton).

NEW YORK CITY - Just when everyone had just about forgotten all about the blue dress, the cigar, the pizza, and the phrase exactly what the definition of is, is, out of the blue (dress?) comes (NPI) the one and only, the slightly chunky, girl of the black beret, and loose lips Monica "The Knee-Padded" ex-White House intern.

Yes, the woman who almost single-handedly (NPI-again) brought down the administration of Hillary Clinton's husband, Bill "The Thrill" Clinton has returned and she is hungrier than ever.

She told a reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk that she has long since forgotten about 'that' dress, the most infamous dress since the one that Jamie Farr's character Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger wore in the TV show M.A.S.H.

Monica confessed that she really and truly cannot even remember what color it was. When reminded that it was blue, she grinned, pursed her lips and asked, "Really?"

When asked if she remembered about the cigar Monica got a puzzled look on her face and replied that the only cigar she remembers is the one she saw Groucho Marx smoking on reruns of his old show You Bet Your Life.

Lewinsky did mention that she still remembers about the pizza which she and Billy (Clinton) shared in the oral office. She caught herself and said that she meant to say oval office.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: One of the best Freudian slips I have heard in quite a while.]

Monica proudly announced that she has just signed a $1.3 million contract to be the official spokesperson for a new pizza chain based in Washington D.C.

The pizza chain is named The White House Pizza Franchise.

The advertising agency for the pizza firm will film Lewinsky wearing a blue mini-dress while sitting in a replica of the oval office. The camera will pan around the room and it will show several pictures of President Bill Clinton.

It will then focus on Monica who will be seated on top of the oval office desk, with legs crossed, and one high heel shoe dangling from her foot.

She will smile as the camera zooms in on her and she will say to the camera as she licks her lips, "White House Pizza is so so very yummy. In fact, it's so yummy...its downright Presidential."

The viewer will then hear the fantastic voice of Ted "The Velvet Voice" Williams off-camera who will say, "White House Pizza, what better way to cap off a truly intimately romantic evening."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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