Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 24 January 2011

image for Blind Squirrel Finds Nut In White House
Morris Finds Nut

White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, confirmed today that a blind squirrel named "Morris" had "surreptitiously entered the White House this past week, and indeed had found a nut in the Oval Office."

Denying the report published in Supernatural Rodent Encounters, the flustered Gibbs said that "it is simply not true that the nut in question was President Obama."

While it is not uncommon for rodents such as mice and rats to run the halls of the White House, because you never know what some unwashed dignitary from France or England might bring with them, a blind squirrel getting past the Secret Service is something else.

The last such encounter that comes to mind is when Monica Lewinsky infamously played President Clinton's bagpipe in the Oval Office. However, the resourceful Slick Willy reportedly took remedial action after that episode by plugging one of the open holes with his cigar.

Morris is now in protective custody and has been advised of his Miranda rights. The old saying that "even a blind squirrel can find a nut sometime," has always alluded to the fact that a little bit of luck is usually a factor when someone scores beyond their expectations. Hopefully Morris will be allowed to tell which nut he found in the Oval Office.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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