Written by Morse
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Sunday, 23 January 2011

image for MSNBC Fires Keith Olbermann over False Claims of Pregnancy & Unauthorized Maternity Leave!
Keith Olbermann Showing all the Symptoms of Pseudocyesis!

There was shock and awe in the dwindling ranks of Keith Olbermann fans as he was unceremoniously dumped by CNBC when it turned out he had lied about his pregnancy, and further fleeced the network by taking Maternity Leave at full Pay!

Commenting on the shocking news, Dr.Phil, while appearing on Oprah, said it all wasn't Keith's fault!

"A lot of women going through the change of life often encounter the phenomena of
false pregnancies. In Keith's case it's classified as "Hysterical Pregnancy" and he showed evidence of all the classic symptoms: Enlarged stomach, vomiting on camera, man boob enlargement, and according to his physician he had stopped menstruating 2 months ago!"

Ms. Olbermann had just completed the second year of his 4 year contract with the network, which was marked with turmoil, internal rows, outrageous comments, and bizarre opinions presented as facts as his rating continued to tank, dropping over 10% in 2010 on his show
"Night Line with Keith Olbermann", also known as the "Midol Minute" by conservative critics.

Olbermann had started his career in Sports on ESPN but was universally loathed by his
fellow sportscasters, and the major cause for channel surfing when he was on air due to his arrogant, ignorant comments and his inability to get on with his booth mates.

In an emotional fair well on his last broadcast, Olbermann lamented on his "lost baby", and thanked his diminishing fan base for the recent baby shower, outpouring of gifts including hand knitted pink baby booties, teething rings, and a life time supply of diapers from one of his sponsors.

TV Insiders say that Olbermann's future in broadcast "journalism" is clouded since he seems to have burned all his bridges.

However there is a rumour, floated by his PR manager, that he has been contacted by
National Broadcast Radio, (NPR), the taxpayer funded liberal channel that recently fired Juan Williams for talking about BACON on air, to discuss a position in management.

In a brief informational piece on ESPN's "Outside the Lines", Chris Berman speculated that Olbermann was headed to the UK and a position on The Guardian as part of a 3 Media Outlet Trade involving Piers Morgan moving to CNN, Olbermann to the Guardian, and
Erin Andrews moving to the Premier League to become a linesman responsible for
spotting offsides on the pitch and introducing the distaff side to English Football to counter recent sexist claims from several UK transgender government "Equality" ministers.

The Guardian says Olbermann will be writing under the name "Katie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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