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Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Dark Horse Candidate Elected President of the United States
"Every Vote Counts!"

Washington DC: Confetti and burst balloons littered the floors of both Republican and Democratic presidential election headquarters in the capitol city and across the 50 states. The presidential election campaign of 2012 is finally over, as the American people have spoken.

President Barack Obama was easily nominated at the Democratic Convention by Democrats of all persuasions via acclimation, for a second term. There weren't any serious political challengers, as Secretary of State Clinton and former Senator Russ Feingold supported the president in his reelection bid. Only Ralph Nader, this time a Democrat, got a few green protest votes!

Republicans were plagued by too many viable, closely matched presidential candidates beginning at their state caucuses all the way to the Republican Convention. Former AK Governor Sarah Palin, former MA Governor Mitt Romney, former AR Governor Mike Huckabee, former Mayor of NYC Rudy Giuliani, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, LA Governor Bobby Jindal, former FL Governor Jeb Bush, SC Senator Lindsey Graham, MS Governor Haley Barbour, former MN Governor Tim Pawlenty and even former GOP Chairman Michael Steele.

After 150 unsuccessful ballots at the Republican Convention there was no clear winner, only deadlocked delegates. Someone shouted "Oh hell let's just nominate Bill O'Reilly of the Fox News Channel!" The entire convention agreed via delegate acclimation. Mr. O'Reilly who was on the floor covering the convention humbly accepted the nomination and made a brief speech where he tapped Sean Hannity for his vice president and Judge Andrew Napolitano for US Attorney General (subject to Congressional approval).

President Bill O'Reilly and Vice President Sean Hannity carried 49 of 50 states. Only Alaska went for President Obama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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