Written by Mark Lowton
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Topics: Food, Ice Cream

Tuesday, 16 September 2003

image for Ben & Jerry's Split
Suck on My Bottle

Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry's are reported to have separated. Hopes of marriage are now all but gone.

This shock announcement follows news that lovers Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have gone their separate ways on their wedding day.

Ben & Jerry's say they will still continue to produce fine Ice cream under the names "Ben's Ice Cream" and "Jerry's Ice Cream"

However, Uncle Ben, from "Uncle Ben's plc" is said to be less than happy with the new branding. "I'm the only Ben in town!" Said Uncle Ben. "I'll sue his ass if he tries branding his ice cream like that"

In related news, Jennifer Lopez is planning on releasing a new alco-pop, simply named "J. Lo". When asked to describe what the drink will be like, J. Lo replied, "It'll be like J2O, but alcoholic."

We asked the man from Del Monte what he thought of the whole thing, he said, "Yes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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