Written by Dominus Noster
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Topics: Texas, torture

Thursday, 11 August 2005

CRAWFORD, TX - Cindy Sheehan, who is the mother of Killed In Action soldier Casey Sheehan, has been staging demonstrations near President Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch.

Although Cindy Sheehan has been kept a few miles away from the actual ranch, President Bush has been very upset about Cindy drawing his press coverage away with her.

"Her days of stealing my press coverage are about to end. She is now being classified as a terrorist threat," decried President Bush.

"That lady is causing me to drop so badly in the polls, and I can't allow that," remarked an angry President Bush.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, one government official said that the President has already given the order to seize and arrest Cindy Sheehan.

"It will be a joint FBI-Department of Homeland Security-Secret Service-National Guard-Sheriff's Department-Local Police raid," explained the official.

The government official told me that it was going to be "like war," and then he showed me a picture of the secret war plan against Cindy Sheehan that the President made.

"Know that I am leaking this at my own risk, to try to stop an injustice. After Bush has her seized and arrested, she will be sent to Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, to be tortured by the U.S. military," the official revealed.

Apparently, the raid will be done with tanks as well, kind of like the Waco attack.

One of the ways the U.S. military could torture Cindy Sheehan is by using sexual harassment techniques by a dominatrix, kind of like the way they have already been doing at both Abu Ghraib and Gitmo.

"The administration is thinking about paying big bucks to hire Paris Hilton to be the U.S. military's torture dominatrix," said a different government official, also speaking on condition of anonymity.

From what my sources have told me, the raid will probably be carried out sometime before August 18th.

On Wednesday, President Bush said, "So what if her son died. Do you think it bothers me? I am getting so rich from this war!"

When I asked about the possibility that this could create a public relations disaster for the administration, the government official told me that the administration plans on distracting people with more celebrity scandals. He also tried to suggest that Bush could possibly go up in the polls, since he could finally "win" something to make up for his failed war policy. Bush would be "winning" a sort of mini-war against Cindy Sheehan.

"Michael Jackson, Scott Peterson, Kobe Bryant - they worked very well for the administration. Karl Rove has already contracted with at least two different celebrities to do something scandalous, in order to deflect media attention away from what the President is doing. Consider them to be like decoys," said my government source.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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