Written by Neil Levine
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 9 August 2005

image for Hillary Clinton versus Jeanine Pirro:  Bloodmatch?
Better than Jason versus Freddy And Alien V. Predator

New York City, Albany, and White Plains, New York----Jeanine Pirro, the rough, tough, no nonsense, take no prisoners Westchester County Prosecutor is about to take on the toughest case of her long, distinguished career: teaching Hillary Bill's Babe Clinton that there is a law. Many, as a matter of statute. And, thereby, beat her at the Polls, the one true test for a strong and powerful political babe. This political battle could be better than Alien versus Predator.


If experience is any basis, this is no easy case. Hillary can bend, fold, spindle and mutilate existing case law so fast you don't know what you're missing. Think Freddy versus Jason.


Hillary's record is clear, something for nothing on a continuing basis, with no mercy for the politically faint of heart. It bears repeating that she unequivocally believes in farming out the hot, sweaty work. Let there be no doubt in your mind about that.


Let the charges and counter-charges begin. This is going to be one knock down, drawn out heck of a Senate race. ABC has already let the games begin by repeating charges that Jeanine's husband illegally deducted their luxury cars, the costs of fighting a paternity case and even the custom made pens for their pet pigs, Wilbur and Orville, from their taxes. Bringing to mind all those endless investigations of Hillary and Bill, proving that they too have a unique relationship in the eyes of God and man. Emphasizing how philosophically juicy this Senate race is going to be.


What makes this race so exciting are the promises of money, scads of money, with the potential for being one of the most expensive races ever. Bill Clinton, clearly, knows where the booty is buried and Al Pirro's record reveals he is no slouch when it comes to finances.


This promises to be one doozy of a political battle on a par with Missouri Senator John Ashcroft losing to a dead man, Governor Mel Carnahan, essentially no competition at all, but clearly a strong reference to become U.S. Attorney General.


So we can expect one tough broad slugging it out with an even tougher broad. Let the battle begin and where is Jesse The Body Ventura when you really need him? Why won't the WWE touch this? Stay tuned!

Make Neil Levine's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 5?

6 8 12 16

Go to top ^