Julian Assange, the beleaguered editor of WikiLeaks, was arrested in London, not for leaking news, but for leaking vital bodily fluids.

Two young Swedish women of impeccable character, claim that Julian had sexual relations with them on their first date with him. Both admitted that they had independently agreed to get nekid and do the dirty deed with the man now famous for releasing hundreds of thousands of secret documents.

Although it is well known that Swedish sexual mores are loosey goosey, evidently these women were not prepared for Assange's due diligence process regarding inspecting his WikiLeak condoms for leakage. In both cases the women were reporting that leakage occurred despite their best efforts to disengage.

Paradoxically, these pair of dorks were duped by a man openly notorious for emanating leaks. How were they to know that he could not be trusted? Even Dr. Billingsgate is baffled by this curious development.