Written by jd Balderdash
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Sunday, 7 August 2005

image for President Bush dares Bin Laden to blow up Texas

Residents of Texas are "concerned" after President Bush, in a televised message to Osama Bin Laden, apparently "blew his lid" after one too many Zimas and dared the terrorist to nuke the state. Bin Laden, unavailable for comment remained silent as President Bush spewed barbed wire, flaming tumbleweeds and pure Texas rattler venom upon the master terrorist, eventually turning insult into injury by calling Bin Laden and Laden's mother "towel-headed geese".

"I DARE you to nuke Texas you towel-headed goose" Bush, the Zima talking, without the aid of teleprompters told the cameras transmitting his wave of rage from the "eat'n room" of his Crawford Texas Ranch.

KVUE reporters caught up with Texas Governor,
Rick Perry in Austin at Bubba's BBQ. Perry's only comment was, "I wish George hadn't done that. What happens if Bin Laden decides to .. Waitress? More tea please? Governor here." KVUE also caught up with one of the Bush twins, Jenna, at the Tipsy Whale off Austin Blvd. Jenna told reporters, "I'm proud that daddy finally stood up to Bin Laden. Bin's the bad guy right? No?"

August 6th, a day many believed would begin Bin Laden's "American Hiroshima" project passed without incident, not only in Austin Texas but New York City, Washington and hundreds of other towns across the country. State Department officials assure Americans that despite rumors there are NO so called "suitcase nukes" anywhere north of Seattle.

"Even if there was a so called suitcase nuke", one official said candidly, "It would be a baby suitcase nuke, in the 100 Kiloton range .. barely capable of vaporizing downtown Manhattan".

Jessica Simpson, long time anti-Nuclear advocate publicly denounced the President's remarks on Entertainment Tonight noting,
"If they blow up Texas who's going to come see my new movie?"

"You got me riled when you knocked over our Trade Center Osama Bin" Bush concluded in his fiery 20 minute message to Bin Laden, adding, "You nuke the great nation of Texas and me and my Palomino are personally comin after your .. uh .. Condi? Any more Zimas back there?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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