Written by wadenelson
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Wednesday, 28 September 2005

image for Al Qaeda Orders New Hampshire License Plates
Just say "No" to King George!

Concord -- According to an anonymous state official the New Hampshire Division of Motor Vehicles received an order for 1000 of their "Live Free or Die" license plates from Al-Qaeda, intended for usage on vehicles slated for use in car and truck bombings.

New Hampshire DMV Director Virginia Beecher confirmed the receipt of "An order for one thousand vanity plates not suitable for vehicle registration in New Hampshire" but would not comment on the Middle Eastern origin of the order, or accompanying letter of credit, which was reportedly drawn on a bin Laden Construction Company account.

According to New Hampshire Prison Industries spokesperson Steven Curry, the "Live Free or Die" vanity plates requested included "Batman-like" phases such as WHAM!, KABOOM, SMASH, KERPOW as well as SEMTEX, TNTTRUK, CUL8R, DIMOFO, and others. Said Winson, "Every vanity plate we sell adds revenue and reduces taxes for our citizens. Although it may seem ironic to have inmates in our correctional institute making such plates, they universally appreciate the ten cents per day wages.

FBI spokesperson Louis Freed is quoted as saying "We have encouraged the State of New Hampshire to go along with this idea. If Al-Quaida equips even a small percentage of its car and truck bombs with these plates, anytime an American GI or diplomat sees "Live Free or Die" barreling towards them they will know its time to dive into a sandbagged bunker. We don't care if the towelheads want "Don't Mess with Texas" or "Live Free or Die" plates on their vehicles, just as long as we can spot them coming.

"Live Free or Die," which has long adorned New Hampshire plates, was reportedly the slogan of a bunch of hooligans and terrorists who refused to bow to British rule under King George W. the Third. Hiding behind trees, conducting guerilla operations, and generally refusing to engage in civilized warfare, the group objected to the colonization, taxation, and grabbing of revenues by the throne. "If trucks had been invented yet, these guys would have been making bombs out of them" according to historian Steven Ambrosia.

The goals of self-determination, religious freedom, and taxation without representation drives terrorists to "Send a message" to their overlords, according to a note included with the order for the vanity plates. "After buku searching on the Internet, the best slogan we could find was one you Americans came up with: "Live Free or Die"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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