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Monday, 29 November 2010

image for Obamicus's Empire Suffers a Setback

Rome: Emperor Obamicus's foreign and domestic policies, particularly his handling of a recession and high unemployment have left Roman citizens seeing red across the empire. Public concern is about foreign wars, invasion, political infighting, corruption in the Senate, expensive health care, stimulus money spending sprees on circuses, and huge deficits.

Boehner the Buckeye and his elephants have defeated the reigning house donkeys (socialist asses). They crossed over the mountains and rivers of the empire and are camped on the banks of the Potomac (Latin for Tiber) River outside of Rome. Boehner the Buckeye has forged an alliance with O'Connell leader of the Celts, a wild clan of Scotland, who eventually could become the Roman Senate Leader. Hadrian's Wall was unable to contain the Celts within Britannia. Roman observers have noted many large Tea Parties occurring in the enemy encampment!

All chariots and pedestrians entering Rome will be subject to inspection by the Tiberius Search Army (TSA) to prevent Boehner the Buckeye spies from entering the city. The TSA has instituted enhanced pat down procedures, including an open toga and tunic policy for both men and women.

Clintonia the State Consul of Rome still has a plateful of old and new problems. Ill Jong the Barbarian (a lunatic) in far off Cathay, at the extreme fringes of the empire, is again causing trouble. The emperor has dispatched a fleet of Trimarans with the latest catapult technology, but these ships will take awhile to get to Asia.

Ahmenajad the Crazy is still causing trouble in Persia and the Middle East. Karzai the Corrupt in Afghanistan still poses a political threat to the empires internal stability. (The emperor employs the group Obamican's for Afghanistan (OFA) to spread his message.) The warlord Ben Laden is still believed to be hiding in a cave in Afghanistan, while many Republicans in the Senate believe he is hiding in the emperor's White Palace.

Dr. Pelosi's (health care guru) influence has been reduced to minority status in the emperor's house, after the health care debacle was exposed, including the 300 Roman agencies being sent to control the various tribal states aligned with Rome. Empress Michelle has further infuriated the various tribal states that pay taxes (tribute) to the empire by suggesting taking food out of the mouths of babes, to make them skinnier.

The Roman Senate is still controlled by aging Senator Reidontis, who narrowly survived a political assassination attempt by Tea Party associates. In the waning few days of this Roman Senate session, prior to the Festival of Jupiter, Senators must deal with issues they have been ignoring such as; empire funding, food safety, same sex marriage, gays in the legions, climate change, former Emperor Bushitis's expiring tax cuts, illegal immigration from Gaul and the repeal of Obamicus-Care. (Senator Doddus is retiring to his villa in Pompeii due to financial problems.)

Former Emperor Bushitis is writing a parchment about his reign over the empire. He still can't understand why Emperor Obamicus continues to blame him for the consequences of policies that occurred under two years of the new emperor's rule!

Gibbis the emperor's spokesman said "Emperor Obamicus has suffered a minor setback in his efforts to turn Patricians and Plebeians into a subservient Proletariat!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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