Written by Charpa93
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 26 November 2010

image for Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black and Blue Friday

Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give shoppers a break in price before hiking them back up to unattainable heights.

It is a day when shoppers will fight each other to the death over the last iPad or flat screen television offered for sale. It is for this reason, that Black Friday has now earned the nickname "Black and Blue Friday."

One store manager, Les Izmore, who has been in the retail business for the last 20 years claims that the past two years have seen some of the most violent behavior coming from shoppers in the history of shopping. "I've seen people knocking each other down and crawling over top of them for Tickle Me Elmos and $5 crock pots. The more popular the brand, the more violent the crowd."

Les claims that "in fact, this year, we expect more of the same and will have paramedics standing by as we open the doors to allow access to our most sought after items, 40" flat screen television for less than $300 and Wii Fits for under a hundred bucks. The folks are going to go bonkers," he said.

Other retailers agree. That is why Black Friday has now officially been renamed Black and Blue Friday to acknowledge all the injuries sustained by shoppers who will stop at nothing to get their money's worth, especially when they have so little of it.

While it is unconfirmed, there have been reports that some retailers are arming their employees with tasers just to be on the safe side in case one or two shoppers really get out of hand. Yes, it has gotten that serious.

Make Charpa93's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

4 5 12 16

Go to top ^