It has come to our attention that one of our loyal public servants, wily old politico Charlie Rangle (Dem. NY) is in a fight for his political life, and unbelievable, he does not have a lawyer to counsel him!
"I object to the proceedings with all due respect, since I don't have counsel to advise me I am being denied a right to have a lawyer," he told his eight colleagues who have unanimously agreed that the former power broker in charge of billions as Chair of the House Ways and Means Committee has violated 13 counts of congressional rules in his personal finances and his fundraising efforts.
Ironically, one of the criticisms against Charlie is that he has burned through $2 million in legal fees, draining funds from his now wiped-out campaign account, improperly using campaign funds for his legal defense. He now wants to set up a separate legal defense fund that could provide legal support, but it may take weeks or months to finance the operation.
Ladies and gentlemen, we cannot stand idly by whilst this aberration of justice continues! Where is the Public Defender's Office? How can this man be persecuted without the benefit of an attorney? Is this some bizarre corruption of the Patriot Act?
There are many questions to be answered. But in the meantime, we must act to defend our value of liberty. We have therefore set up a fund to solicit donations for Charlie's defense. Send your checks payable to CASH (Concerned Action to Save a House representative). PO Box 666 Washington DC.
Charlie has spent decades in service to his country, negotiating backroom deals with nary a fourth of fifth thought for his own personal enrichment and benefit. Now it is time for you to give back. Give generously. In the spirit of Charlie's record of service, we pledge to try and use a full one-tenth of one percent of the funds raised to directly benefit Representative Rangle-we'll use it to try and bribe one of the ethics committee members.