LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - Senator-elect Rand Paul (R-KY) has presented documents showing that in recent years Medicare has purchased enormous amounts of nuclear and radioactive material from other nations.
"I had always suspected that Medicare intended to take over our great nation, one way or another," said Dr. Paul. "But now I see how dangerous government health care can be."
The documents show that Medicare has numerous connections to Chalk River Laboratories, a maker of isotopes in Ontario, Canada. In fact, Medicare may be the lab's single largest customer. Medicare also maintains contacts with Petten Nuclear in Petten, Netherlands. Both Canada and the Netherlands are known to support socialized medicine.
The nuclear material in question includes radioactive rubidium, technetium, krypton, yttrium, and xenon. The material was never shipped to Medicare directly. It was laundered through hospitals nationwide under invoices randomly labeled as "medical imaging", "PET scan", "cancer therapy", etc.
Dr. Paul said, "I never paid much attention to the websites of the 'Is Medicare Developing a Nuclear Bomb' conspiracy nuts, but this new evidence is indisputable.
"I say we not wait until Medicare threatens America with nuclear oblivion. I say we immediately invade Medicare and destroy their nuclear program. And even if no such program exists, we will still be greeted as liberators, for we will be liberating billions of dollars to be returned safely to the American people.
"Can we risk doing otherwise?"