Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: Vets, Veteran's Day

Thursday, 11 November 2010

image for US celebrates Veterinarians' Day
A US Marine

The US president, and citizens from all across the country, have today gathered together, on the 11th day of the 11th month, at the 11th hour, to celebrate a very special group of people. It is the anniversary of the end of the First World War, a war in which over 1000 pigeons and 5000 livestock perished, and many veterinarians (or vets) worked hard to try to save those animals from the horrors of war.

Today, veterinarians work with army dolphins, geese and hamsters who work in tough warzones in Afghanistan and Iraq.

One vet spoke exclusively: "I'm just back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. I remember one day, an Afghan hound came up with a sore paw, and we weren't sure if we could trust him - he might have been a suicide bomb-dog. In the end we decided we couldn't fix his paw anyway, so we shot him. And then his bomb-vest went off!! How lucky we were!"

"Another time, I spent 11 hours operating on a US Army Hamster Marine. All around me people were dying and bombs were exploding, but I had to finish removing this hamster's tonsils, or else he might have suffered a bad throat which would have affected the entire army's effectiveness. For that, I received the Purple Kidney."

But veterinarians is not just for current vets. A US vet, Mr Schneider, meets up every year with his German counterpart, Herr Neischnerd, to discuss a fateful day in 1944 when they both had fought to save the life of a neutral Swedish gnat.

For people like this, countries around the world are today truly grateful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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